I try not to put unrealistic expectations on my kids, but what exactly are UNREALISTIC expectations. Is it unrealistic to expect them to finish college if they start? Is it unrealistic to expect that they’re at college to get a degree and not just an “experience”? And what exactly is the difference between a hope and an expectation when it comes to your kids? I feel like the line is blurred somehow. I really hope that they’ll do the things I expect them to do, and I expect that they may not realize all my hopes for them. Do you see what I mean?
Then there are dreams. The big things I would love for my kids that probably aren’t even on their radar. I’m not sure I can even be specific here. The main thing I have always wanted for my kids is that they walk in God’s will for them. An example of a dream there might be that they become a pastor or a dynamic evangelist. I do have one that’s on a path to the mission field, so there’s that. Or a dream that they get to make a living doing something they are absolutely passionate about. I want their lives to have meaning and purpose, as well as overflowing peace and joy. In this world, that IS a dream.
I think I might be back to the whole “letting go” thing. I was disappointed when one child decided that God had a different path for him and he left college at the end of his junior year. I didn’t WANT to be disappointed and I tried to pretend I wasn’t, but I was! I fully expected that he would finish what he started because he has always been that way. Surprise! Things change. It’s so hard for a control freak like me to not be in control. It hurts to see my kids making choices that I don’t want them to make. I KNOW what the best choice for them is and they just need to LISTEN to me! Ha! That’s a good one, Mom. God is the One in control, and He has a plan for all our lives. I need to trust Him in that. In every moment where I want to give orders and re-direct their path, I need to breathe and remember that God has got this. The grown ones don’t listen to me anymore anyway. Unless I say something they like or that they agree with … or that they know to be truth (during their more mature moments). And who am I to know better than God anyway?!
When it comes to my kids I think I just need to let go of expectations, and give my hopes and dreams to God. His plans are bigger than any of my hopes or dreams anyway. He also knows so much better, how to get them form point A to point B – whatever those points may be. Sigh! Let it go, mama. Just let go and let God. 😇