Don’t freak out! After almost 25-years together (23 of them married), I’ve witnessed my Prince Charming revert to his old froggy self a time or two. At first I didn’t deal so well, but over the years I’ve learned a couple of tricks.
First, nowadays when I get so angry at the frog before me that I could spit, I pray. That might sound a bit cliche-ish, but it helps me calm down. It also reminds me that I’m not in this alone. Our marriage is a tri-union; me, my sweet little froggy prince, and Jesus.
Second, I remind myself why I fell in love with this guy in the first place. I think about his positive attributes – the things I like about him. I have been very blessed. My husband is an amazing guy overall. He is kind, generous, loving, faithful, fun, funny, and incredibly sexy (to me anyway). He adores me and constantly tells me I’m beautiful. He’s affectionate, attentive, and helpful. He also tends to spoil me just a little bit. We have always been one of those couples that make everyone around us sick with our affection for one another (something I am very proud of). 😉 None of this means that he’s perfect, but it give me a lot of things to focus on when I’m mad at him.
We are all human. We all get stressed out and overwhelmed at times. Unfortunately, the ones closest to us usually suffer the brunt of the backlash when we implode (or explode, whichever the case). Sometimes we just need to give and be given some space to calm down in. Oftentimes we’re not really upset with the person we’re lashing out at – and sometimes we are. In either case, we need to learn to communicate our feelings without just spitting ugly words out into the air. My husband is so even-tempered and he has really helped me to learn how to do that. Like we always tell our kids, “Use your words”. Get to the root of the problem and discuss THAT without verbally (or any other way) attacking each other. It works in all relationships, not just marriage.
Most importantly, I think, remember that you’re a team. When you’re going through stressful times or major life changes, you need to help each other through it – not be a source of more stress. Forgiveness, grace, and patience are invaluable tools to use as a married couple navigating this sometimes rocky life together. If all else fails, there’s always the arguing naked trick. That’s been known to diffuse some pretty heated arguments. 😮😉